This must be the place.

In the depths of solitude, I find that the truth finds it’s loudest voice. There is such a hunger for love and understanding that the lack of it echoes like the lack of water in a desert. The veil as it lifts forces the people trying so desperately to hold onto the old ways, to fall like speckles of dust off of a dated curtain hanging in an old house in the country that was left abandoned long ago. As I float on the waves of change I sometimes feel lazy, but must somehow trust my intuition telling me that I will need this stored energy when the time is right. It is in my nature to want to help to make this all less traumatic but although my heart rests in pain, I know that everything is as it’s meant to be. Maybe I only say this now because somehow when I finally sit to write, I become the person I want to be. The person I have been looking for all along, and while I wish to help everyone I must feed in order to do so.

The fallen empire of my parent’s love, the love that showed me what love is, has shaken me to the core. I must replace their space as the Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine in my life and see them now as they are, just two people who created me out of a space of love in which they no longer wish to reside. I like to believe that through me, no matter how permanent or temporary, the height of their love will live on. This is important to me as love and the idea of it, is the only thing that seems to fuel me. I find solace in the grey spaces of the black and white.

In my great confusion, I wander. Like a top spinning in an open space hoping to bump up against a hard surface and be forced to stop. I wish to be a tree with deep roots so I go to the places with the most beautiful trees, and ask if they will have me. Nature knows unconditional love and how to communicate without words and therefor I feel at home most when I am at least a little bit lost.